Tad's Life

I preached today. This blog has been almost exclusively about building and fixing since I started last month, but I guess that that is because it has been a season of work teams. They have dominated my life. It’s not all I think about or do, of course. Though it does allow photos much more easily than time thinking through the implications of Jesus’ parable in Matthew 15:10-11! That’s the one where he says that it’s not what goes into the mouth that makes a man unclean, but what comes out of it. No, that isn’t a statement about hygiene! It’s a parable. He is talking about our spiritual lives, our readiness to be with God. Jesus’ radical view was that what counts isn’t the outside: rituals, disciplines, self-control. He identified the issue as the “heart”, i.e., the inner man with its thoughts, attitudes, thinking, motives and all that. That’s where behavior comes from and the real question is how to deal with that inner you so that it is “clean.” That’s what I talked about this morning.

And I got to do it in English! I was invited to fill in one of the 10 weeks while John, a missionary friend of mine, is in the US. How strange. Jane asked afterwards if it was nice to teach in English and I realized it hadn’t felt much different. If anything, I was more worried about misspeaking because there were a number of missionary colleagues in the small congregation and others whom I didn't know at all. Well, I guess I always worry about saying something that isn’t right, or is only an opinion and not core, crucial biblical truth. But as I prepared this message and as I gave it, I was wanting very much to only say key things that I know are true.

Don’t ask me how it went. I never know. I felt at ease and spoke with confidence and energy. But did my thoughts come across clearly? On the other hand, this is a small congregation, a cell group really, and they have a custom of discussing the sermon together with the speaker for 10 or 15 minutes afterwards. That was great and many people spoke up. We had a great talk about repentance and faith and spiritual “brokenness” and dependence and all. I suppose that that indicates that I did communicate and they were engaged.

My real failure came afterwards, in the informal, social interactions. Is it shyness or fear or self-focus? ("I'd say it's 'd', sir. All of the above.") Whatever it is, I did it again. I missed an opportunity to talk to a couple people about the topic of the sermon. They took the initiative. I just didn't stand still long enough to listen, to ask the key questions, to do the spiritual inquiry that God was giving me the opportunity to do. Argh!! Forgive me Lord Jesus. Transform me.

Hmm.... This blogging is dangerous.

// posted by Tad @ 9:32 PM